Had a great time in church today... Good worship, good sermon, good lunch and good practice after church. People starting to ask questions on why i'm playing almost every other week. Because I can? Because I want to? Because its one of the few things that I'm actually have some potential in. And I want to use it to serve God... Hope people don't see it any other way... (eg. For pride or recognition)

Went to the town (Marina Square & Boat Quay) for the busker's festival... Got a life there in YongXi's truck... Now I know what the illegal foreign workers feel like... Not a very comfortable ride but it got us there... Had a generally enjoyable experience, but the best performances were at boat quay... 'DynaMike', 'Ettienne' and a percussion group called 'The New York Street Boys'... Really put a smile on my face... Was initially disturbed because Eileen and her boyfriend stopped by at Marina Square. I wrote the following after she left...

Tiring but I feel slightly better now... Felt like curling up and lying down. For 10 minutes after she left, I felt breathless and disgusted... Thoughts like, 'she looks better with him' and 'maybe they are more suitable for each other physically.' came to mind...
Yucks... I just wish that I never knew her. Then it wouldn't be so difficult. Its the association with her, the thought that, 'she used to be mine' which drives me crazy. It really disgusts me, sort of like seeing someone purposely cut themseves or harm themselves. Its just not natural... but after a certain point of time, you cannot help but not care anymore.... I think I'm getting there. There's only so much I can do...

I shall stop soon...